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My lord. [January 03, 2009]
Hello everyone, I know I haven't written in a whiiile.
But my god, I don't get shit anymore. How does the new LJ work? How do I customize my page? Because I can only seem to add a CSS. I just want to have a simple layout. Help anyone? <3


[April 24, 2007]
All my gaian art. Freebies and commissions.

Big file, just the link XD

For the artauction:



[March 31, 2007]
The meds make me feel drowsy . And make me feel like I'm in some sort of dream. It's weird. Yet okay.

My SE's (Schoolexams XD) are starting on monday. My first one is maths. If someone's good at explaining SOSCASTOA, be my guest. And if you know someone who's good at it, let them be my guest.

Friday, I'm going to Berkel to visit Boude. I like Boude. A lot. I hope I won't screw up xD I'm really excited to go there. We're gonna watch movies and walk around a bit. His mom loves me, which is very scary. I once called Boude, and his mom picked up the phone;
"Hellooooo, Irenkaa!"
Eh. Hello..

And some 'friend' of mine broke contact very. Meanish. AHWELL
I have to read shit.
Shit D:

[March 23, 2007]
"Wat zullen we vanavond eens gaan eten?"
"Weet ik veel..."

Ruzie. Met mn moeder, voor de verandering. Of ik mee naar het tuincentrum wil. Nee. Eigenlijk niet. Alleen al bij het idee gaat er van alles pijn doen. Ik ga dus maar naar  boven. Doe m'n PC aan, heel boeiend allemaal, en loop weer naar beneden.
"Nee mam, ik ging niet mee."
"Vervelend kind."
Ik maak dus maar wat te eten. Kheb honger. Eet het eten en loop weer naar boven. Weer achter de PC, weer heel boeiend, en dan gaat de bel. Ik moet zandzakken sjouwen vanuit de auto naar de tuin. Gelukkig is de buurman er om ons te helpen. Een stuk of 20 zakken later sta ik met mn moeder in de tuin.
"Ik ga zo maar naar de AH, heb beltegoed nodig."
"Goed," Bromt m'n moeder terug.
Ik pak mn jas en sjok terug naar de tuin.
"Ik kan me niet voorstellen dat je zo concequent dingen niet doet. Dat kan gewoon niets te maken hebben met dat je je verdrietig voelt. "
"Dat heeft het wel, mam,"
"Waarom doe je dan al die projecten niet? Heb je al met Melissa gesproken? En je kamer is ook een vreselijke rotzooi."
"Je zou er niet meer over beginnen, mam."
"Ik zou bepaalde dingen niet meer zeggen! Je weigert gewoonweg die dingen te doen. Ik voel me er niet goed door. En dan loop ik door dat tuincentrum me rot te voelen omdat jij 'verdrietig' bent en niet meewilt.."
"Dat was niet de rede."
"En het is zwaar fisiek werk en ik voelde me er heel erg rot door, ook dat je niet meewou."
En toen hoefde het van mij niet meer. Ik ben de deur uitgelopen en ben weggefietst, terwijl mn moeder riep dat ze het haat als ik wegloop. Best. Ik doe het toch. Met schuldgevoel hou je me niet binnen. Niet meer.

Ik kom een kwartier later terug, voel me nog niet veel beter.
"Hey Irenk, wat zullen we vanavond eens gaan eten?"
"Weet ik veel..."
Ben ik nou zo vreselijk dwars? Of mag ik best zo reageren?


[February 28, 2007]
Who knows all about layouts and backgrounds and options? <3 PLEASE, help me ;D


[February 21, 2007]
I'm watching this docu on tv. On polygamia. Or something. You know, a guy that marries lots of woman. This man married 6 women, has 29 kids with them, and lives in a desert, 8 hours away from Salt Lake City, in a bunch of trailers. He has a  wife. He married her mom and sister. He married another woman. And her sister. And some other woman.
He married his first wife when he was 35 and she was 14 years old.
God made it this way. The more women you marry, the higher your rank in heaven.
The women all get along with eachother, just like the kids. The women decide when and if they want to get married, the women decide when they have sex, and such things. They can't fall in love with other men. But that man can fall in love with others.

I think this is revolting. It's just. Ehw.
It's like, me marrying my mom's boyfriend and then letting her marry him.
Just think of it. I think it's .. Gah, thinking about it makes me sick.
They have these rituals about Safari's. When they go IT'S A LION, GET IN THE CAR TREE. Which actually made me laugh, but that's not the point.
Can you think of this? Marrying 6 women, or having to share your man with 5 others? Can you just imagine? (Yes mars, I know you think this is a good thing >>)

"It's what Tom wants. What Tom wants, is what I want. I might be jealous. But that's just something I have to live with. I love Tom, and I love his wives. I want them to be happy, and that makes me happy."
"Tom is such a good person, he's giving and all. It'd be selfish to have him all to myself."


[February 14, 2007]
Holy fucking mother of god, he talked. I'm so relieved..

[February 14, 2007]
Jesus fucking Christ. I don't like LJ in pink.
I saw this nice poem today. I loved it. About valentines..
Ahwell. Valentinesday sucks anyways.


HAHA, I wanted to post this a week ago. [January 23, 2007]
Oh. So confused.

Yesterday (10th) I was jumping around in my room and my mom walked upstairs.
"We have to talk."
I saw it coming, but I was in a decent mood. She told me again about the euthenasia (Or something) of my grandpa. That he's terminal and there's no future anymore. It was time. Today (11th) at 5. We cried together. It was so weird. Knowing someone is going to die. That you know the day, that you know the time. It was kindoff unreal. So we cried.
Then my mom went downstairs to tell her aunt and call my aunt, to ask if I could go there today. I could, so I've been there today.

Today. First we went to the hairdresser (SPURRR OF THE MOMENT THING). We both felt like it. So we got out hair done. Little distraction, it was nice actually.
Then my mom brought me to my aunts, my nieces and the boyfriend of one of them would come in an hour, and then my mom left.
We talked a bit, then we went playing risk. But at 4:15 my little niece (14) started crying out that it was only 45 minutes away, and did that every 5 minutes. So after a half an hour we all got nervous and quit the game for a bit. Then we talked about good things of my grandpa, and they all cried a bit. I didn't yet. Then we were silent for a couple of minutes, which I hated, but the niece wanted it, so I did it for her. at 5:45 we've got calls from my mom and uncle, that my grandpa was gone, that the drink worked almost immediatly, which was good. He had a peaceful death. He went with humor. Then we talked a bit more, and played more after an hour.
At 10 my aunt brought me home, and then 5 minutes ago my mom walked in. Ruud is here a lot too, it's good like it is now.

Now I cry a lot. And I really feel like I can't in front of others. It's a familything, but too because I think I have to protect my mom and care for her a bit now. Since she's sad and all, and it was her dad. I think I should prospone my grief a little. Or something like that. My mom's telling me more tomorrow..

A whole other thing, I'm gonna have my eyes measured. I pinch my eyes when I look at the screen more often, and I have lots of headaches, so I think it's time again. And since my mom and dad have glasses.. Yeah.


[October 04, 2006]
Sooo.. Right now I'm at school, working on my historything. I finished it, now the printer is bitching. Ahwell. It's about the Greek gods. (:

Monday, when I was doing Dutch, yay for Dutch. So I sat there, and the counselour told me that she had to make an appointment. The sectionleader was worried about me.


[September 22, 2006]
My portrait for school is done. So there.



I think mine looks best (And I don't say that a lot.):


[September 19, 2006]
[ mood | sick ]

Jesus christ.. I'm so fucking tired. And I feel sick. Ahwell.
I had a weird dream, can't remember about what though...
I have a new sweater, it's so warm and jummy :3
Today at school. It's gonna be boring. There's nothing to do there ._.
It's easy AND boring D:
BTW, I have a new layout. It's green and bird-ish :B

I want to sleep and never wake up~

[September 18, 2006]
[ mood | good ]

Haylo. This is gonna be a report on Dennis' behaviour. I think you should only read this when you have too much time. Because it's LONG. 
If anyone is befriend with Dennis and wants to show this to him, go ahead, I made this friends only so that people I don't like, don't read it either.

When I first heard of him, it was from Flora. Flora told me she met this guy in a meeting, who was coming to her house. So Mars and I were invited.
He came biking with his BMX-bike. Then I sat down on the sofa and Dennis next to me, and on his other side Flora. Mars was sitting alone on another sofa. Dennis told us that his 'tactic' of trying to let girls kiss you is taking her hand and kiss it. And move closer to her mouth (WITH the hand). My reply was; sure.
Then he tried it on me, as he did that, I moved futher away. When he finally got the hint (Together with all 'NO'-s) he stopped trying and started with Flora. She wasn't into it either. And he tried again with me.
After a couple of hours, Mars was tired of it and got mad. I can relate to that.
After Dennis trying with me, and flora, back to me all the time, we went to the store. Then we got back and I think that when we got back, his stupid bike was stolen. It made me laugh. 
Then we got back upstairs, sat on the sofa again, watched some TV again, and Dennis couldn't stop trying. Flora gave in after another LOTS of times. So there, Flora's new boyfriend.

I think I got home after. Then Dennis added me to his MSNlist, I thought: "Sure." I found out he thought I was pretty and that he was sooo in love with Flora and asked me for pictures of us both or either Flora or me. Terrible.

He was there a lot. He was there after a lot of schooldays, Flora saw him a lot and didn't have much time for me. 
By the way, Dennis worked in the army, please keep that in mind.

I started to dislike him more and more every time I talked to him. Then, at some point, I got added by some lesbian girl 'Zoei'. Zoei is important in this report.
Anyways, she was nice. Much nicer then Dennis, though she talked a lot about Dennis;
Me; Hi.
Zoei: Hey
M: How are you?
Z: Goood, you know what Dennis did today? -Enter conversation about Dennis, and Dennis only-. Too bad, I thought.

Dennis. With a daughter of 1 year old, called Tasha and all his Lesbian friends. 

My ass.

On the lycoschat, "Zoei" signed in too. She got a picture on her profile, I asked it was her, and she asked without doubt: "Yes."
Then Ruud came to me, telling that the picture was an old classmate of his, and he sent some photo's he made on a trip. I was stunned, I mean, the girl lied to me.
When I asked what was going on, she suddenly said is was 'Such a pretty girl, I found on the internet'.

At that moment, Ruud started to think about all that. 

Flora and Dennis broke up eventually, I was very okay with that.
I think Dennis and I talked some after, but after that we got in a fight and I blocked him for months.
Then I unblocked him again, that's the way it went all the time. He always got random girlfriends, who were so pretty, SO pretty, and always his girlfriends. He never had pictures of them together, though I know how many pictures he only took of Flora, when they were together. I always thought they never REALLY excisted. In his life, that is.

At some time, Ruud started to share his doubts with me, and he had such good arguments, I couldn't do anything else then start to doubt too. Which I did. Other people thought it was bullshit, except for Mars.
Some of the arguments were;
Dennis might be sick, some sort of liar. He showed me a site for mental disorders and it fit perfectly. That he lied about everything, thought of characters and introducing them to everyone without it even excisting. Which he KNOWS, but doesn't want to admit. He keeps them away from people and that sort of things.
It'd colapse.
No-one ever saw Zoei, nor Muriëlle (Another lesbian girl he introduced me to who was obsessed by me). They always got away with lame excuses.
He had more. Many more. And it fit so well.

I think I got ceveral fights with Dennis, and after I told Zoei that she was Dennis, he/she got mad and blocked me. I'm sorry, but if someone told me I was Mars, I'd laugh, not get mad.

We got in another fight, this went on until May 5th.

On may 5th, he was there. He looked ridiculous, with his huge backpack. I think I really laughed at him. Hard. 
Ruud saw him for the first time too. 
Rest of the day wasn't that important, but when I wanted to get on the train back home, he was there too. He left 2 hours ago, and I went after so that I wouldn't meet him in the train. I was so pissed and tried to ignore him, until he saw me. I was rather sad and I didn't want him to come close. When I got in the train, he sat next to me. I wanted to ignore him, and I did as much as I could. He wanted to hug me all the time, but I was upset and started crying about the things I thought about earlier. He hugged me. Over and over again. And I cried. Then he tried to kiss me, first on my cheek, moving futher to my mouth, when I turned my head to the window. Why I didn't do anything? I was paralized and confused, scared and upset.
Then he still tried, and when I got out, I was happy I got rid of him. But no, he had to take another train, to his town, and I'm happy I had to go with the tram, and he didn't have a passthing, so I could go home alone.

I called him names on MSN, because he disgusted me. I never wanted to see him again. 
After that I heard that he told someone, that I kissed him. I'd never EVER do that. I got so mad that I wanted to kick him. Hard. In the nuts. I get mad again when I typ this.

Didn't see him until a couple of weeks ago. He asked me if he could come along. And I rejected the offer. He kept asking, I kept saying no.
Then the other day, guess who stood right in front of my school? Suprise. He sat there. Walked towards me and I went downstairs, to the bikesstand as fast as I could, he didn't follow me. Then Liesbeth came downstairs and said: EHW, he wanted a hug from me. 
I could relate to the EHW. Then I got upstairs with my bike, and got on it while Dennis walked towards me fast. So he started to blab, asked me for hugs, which I didn't want to. We ran into Vincent and in my street into my art-teacher.
Their thoughts about Dennis were; 
Vincent: Dennis is so weird.
Teacher: I don't trust him, at all, I told you that before and I could see that you didn't want him to be there.
I got rid of my bike and got in my home fast. I told everything to my mom and we made a deal, which I'm very glad we have. 
So. I think 30 minutes later, the bell rang. I looked down and I saw it was him again (Suprise :/) with a bottle of coke. I knew my mom'd answer the door so I stayed there. I heard my mom saying stuff to him and then he walked away. I went downstairs to hear what she said. She said something like, I think I told you before, and Irenka did too, I don't want you to contact her anymore, or else I'll take action.

Later, on MSN (Didn't block him yet), he said he had to laugh, because he was in the army and the police couldn't harm him if his .. I don't know the word, his bosskindofthing wasn't with him. Not that my mom mentioned the police. But I was like, sure.

So then, Murielle had an accident with a car, got in coma, woke up, when Dennis got a carcrash, because he had a blackout in the car and drove into something I guess. So he and his little daughter, who was 2 already, had to go to the hospital. Something was wrong with Dennis' shoulder, and his daughter got in a coma. 
Then Dennis got home, and the girl, Tasha, was still in a coma and died yesterday. Today I'm gonna call the hospital to see if she was there and really died.

Yesterdaynight, when the daughter died, Mars was on the lycoschat, together with Fred. Fred, I LOVE YOU FOREVER for telling us all this, it really helped. He told us things like;
Dennis lives with counseling (Begeleiding, goede woord?) and his counselours told me that the Zoei and Murielle were a lie (As we thought), that he doesn't work in the army and that the only thing that was true, was his daughter.
When his girl was in a coma, he went sailing, that it was stupid to do and all.
That he had to go to the main-armyplace to get clothes, and left the receit from a store here, called Dump (They sell army-like stuff and hikingthings), on the table. 
That probably almost every girlfriend was fake. 

And it actually scared me. Fred can know by the way, he lived with Dennis for either 1.5 week OR 1.5 month, not sure. 
I told him that I thought he stalked me, signing into every site I was in, being everywhere I wanted to go, call me, wait me up at my school, that sort of stuff.
Ahwell. Today I'll call the hospital, so is Fred. He'd get mad if the girl wasn't dead, he really was pissed yesterday, because he has a daughter himself, and he thinks it's just out of line to lie about the death of your own daughter. I agree with him.

Keep in mind; Pseudologia phantastica


[September 16, 2006]
HAHA. Yesterday, after school, Jaap and I were still in the classroom, and we hugged. So then he said to me; Let's hug Hameetman (Teacher).
So we walked towards the teacher and hugged him, and I lol'd.

I made a drawing. Jup. Well, actually I started drawing it last year at school, and I've worked 4 hours on it, at school. Now I'm working on it again, for a few hours..

The drawingCollapse )


[July 04, 2006]
[ mood | amused ]

Now it's over


[June 21, 2006]
Cool, threatening somebody over the internet.

Please stop with the crack.
And get your head out of your ass.


[June 18, 2006]
Oh. And concidering making a new LJname, for friends only. And this one for anyone who wants to read useless stuff.


[May 15, 2006]
[ mood | amused ]

Oh ja, schuif je schuld maar op mij. Daar zijn jullie heel goed in. Stelletje hypocriete hoeren.
Want ja, dat doen jullie altijd. De makkelijke weg kiezen. Schuld op anderen schuiven en doen alsof jullie zo vreselijk heilig zijn.
En het mooiste is, niemand mag jullie.
Omdat jullie mij niet mogen, gaan jullie de schuld op mij schuiven en proberen mijn vrienden van me weg te halen. Sorry, maar ze zijn niet allemaal dom, en vallen niet allemaal voor jullie vuile trucjes.
Mjah. :')


[May 15, 2006]
[ mood | amused ]

Hoe kansloos kun je zijn :')

[March 20, 2006]
[ mood | hyper ]

Lmao. First post. Hi *waves* nothing to tell...



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